I am going to use a prose that would indicate my first mom is still alive for two reasons: It will make this post more readable, and most important: she is alive and well in my heart. I can see her face and hear her voice and this is so comforting. I’ve posted previously on my adoption and reunion, but I’ve yet to set the record straight as to how much my first mom meant to me and the reasons why. I’m going to call her mom #1 simply because she is the first mom that I can recall, and I know that mom #2 will be okay with this because she is eternally grateful to my first mom for loving me and looking after me when she was not afforded the opportunity to do so. I wish they could have met. They are both so funny and beautiful, and they love life and love their children. I am so blessed.
I want to begin by saying that without a doubt, there is no one on earth, not even your spouse or your children, who loves you as much as your mom. I am not minimizing the love of another family member, I am just stating that a mother’s love for her children is unsurpassed as an instinctual and absolute reflection of unconditional love.
Doreen was the last of six children in her family born in the small mining town of Haileybury, Ontario during the Great Depression. Her parents both died of tuberculosis when she was a child. Mom was raised by her sister, and left for the big city after high school to pursue a teaching certificate from Toronto Teachers’ College. She finished her career with a degree in Canadian History and an education degree (BA, BEd). Not bad for a girl from Northern Ontario! She spent most of her career teaching Grade Two. I’m talking about teaching six and seven year olds how to read, write, calculate numbers, zip up their own snow suits, tie their own shoes, be kind to others, etc., etc. She loved her students and her job, and she never came home stressed out. She’d be exhausted, but always had time to let my brother Mike and I know how much she loved us: THIS IS WHAT MOMS DO, AND SHE WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD AT! Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease shortly after she retired from teaching, but as the above photo depicts, she never forgot how much she loved me. So, thank you mom #1 for loving me 🙂
Considering all that I’ve shared about a mother’s love, it should not have been a surprise to discover how much mom #2 loves me. Catherine loved me for decades, without knowing where I was, or knowing who I was. When I was reunited with her we bonded immediately; maybe it’s because I was missing my first mom so much but I don’t think so. I was very protective initially of the relationship that I had with Doreen, and I did not want anyone to replace her. Catherine did not replace her at all, she simply loved me in that unconditional and proud way that moms do. Thank you mom #2 for loving me.
I just hope that my children know how much I love them. It will be hard for them to fathom this until they have children of their own. This is when I truly discovered how much my moms love me.